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Comfort is to scared, as friends are to strangers. We are comfortable with what we know, but more specifically, we are comfortable with the things that make us feel safe, and a little less alone in the world. Everyday we surround ourselves with these comforts, as to avoid sleepless nights, and lonely mornings. Often we sacrifice personal potential- deprioritizing our careers, or education, to be closer to the people we love. Success seems to be nothing without the ability to share it with those meaningful in your life. So how is a man measured? Or more specifically, how does a man measure his own success? Obviously every man is different, but the common denominator in all men is the desire to have meaning in other people’s lives.

This meaning can exist on a multitude of levels. While I attended school in North Carolina I still remained close friends with the people I have come to call “my family,” but it is undoubtedly so that I have become more meaningful to those people by reentering their lives, in moving back to Michigan. Every man makes a choice, or a series of choices that determine what matters most in his life. We may say this or that of our intentions, but it is not our intentions that define who we are and what we think of the person we have become, rather decisions, or actions. I prioritized the people that mattered most in my life before a good job in a great city, in a great climate, and it was without a doubt the right decision for me.

I am not saying we must limit ourselves inorder to maintain meaningful relationships with the people we love, rather we must recgonize what matters most to ourselves, utilizing that realization as the framework to the rest of our lives. To reference Jean Paul Sartre, it would be “in-authentic” of ourselves to build a life around anything other than our hearts desires. It is inevitable that we shall dwell over past decisions, curious of what could have been, but if able to recognize that the passing present moment has been reached through choices whose origin are your heart, there can be no regret.

Jean Paul Sartre

Jean Paul Sartre